Marshall and I have been together 15 years, and the only debate we’ve had about Tommy Boy is whether it’s awesome or super-awesome. That’s love, bitch.
I only have one rule, new is always better… yes but new is always better is my oldest rule so its the best!
Do you guys have some pancakes? .. because I’d really like some pancakes, they’re fantastic, let’s be honest, I love them.
OK everyone, SHUT UP AND LOOK AT ME! Welcome to Visions of Nature. This room has several paintings in it. Some are big, some are small. People did them and they are here now. I believe that after this is over they’ll be hung in government buildings. Why the government is involved in an art show is beyond me. I also think it’s pointless for a human to paint scenes of nature when they can just go outside and stand in it. Anyway, please do not misinterpret the fact that I am talking right now as genuine interest in art and attempt to discuss it with me further. End of speech.
‘Zerts are what I call desserts. Tray-trays are entrees. I call sandwiches sammies, sandoozles, or Adam Sandlers. Air conditioners are cool blasterz, with a z. I don’t know where that came from. I call cakes big ol’ cookies. I call noodles long-ass rice. Fried chicken is fri-fri chicky-chick. Chicken parm is chicky chicky parm parm. Chicken cacciatore? Chicky catch. I call eggs pre-birds, or future birds. Root beer is super water. Tortillas are bean blankies. And I call forks…food rakes.
Charlie Sheen is on Twitter now, that’s right her name is Twitter and he met her on Sunset Blvd.
Conan O’Brien (last night in his opening monolog.